Last month was incredibly depressing, getting news I wasn’t prepared all my life to ever hear, that my future is going to be totally different, and not likely for the better. But I’ve come across other perspectives. I read someone write that finding out this specific piece of news, while certainly future-altering, doesn’t necessarily mean a sucky life, so much as a life filled with unusual challenge. Challenges make us stronger, and grow our character. Then again, how many grumpy old men are out there who didn’t become grumpy old men by way of challenges that made them sour? I suppose it all depends on how you approach it all.

I knew it would be just a matter of time, though, before all of this would become “yesterday’s news”, so to speak, and life would go on. The reality of the situation will not, and cannot, escape me. But I’m fortunate today to be symptom-free, so far as I can tell. Mind you, I am not exactly a healthy athlete, so I do of course have “issues” that often confuse me such as my legs falling asleep more often than they used to simply because I’ve gained some weight lately. And I did the unthinkable today—I went to McDonald’s. Twice, once for an early morning breakfast and just now for a late night naughty extra meal consisting of their new angus burger. It should be stated, though, that except for one hot fudge sundae I enjoyed earlier this week which seems to have been the starting point of recent Micky D’s cravings, I hadn’t been to McDonald’s in at least a few months till this week. So that was fun, but I need to get back into my healthy eating again.

I got a new dishwasher this week, a beautiful Whirlpool I found on Best Buy’s web site. I like to believe that this will open a couple new doors for me. ;) One of the big hindrances of preparing healthy food at home has been the overflow of dishes in the sink, and the lack of available clean dishes. So this should change things, if subtly, so I hope.

I’ve been getting a lil bit of exercise, too, although it hasn’t been consistent yet. I pulled my cheap little elliptical machine into the living room, in front of the TV, and use it regularly now, or rather was using it regularly until a couple days ago; I moved it back to the back room temporarily and need to drag it back into the living room.

I’m computing on my laptop again, back in the old grind, I thought it was fried but recently realized—after [possibly mistakenly] ordering a replacement laptop that I’m still waiting on—that the hard drive might not be frying from non-working fans but rather from power surges. Until I made this realization I was convinced my laptop was hosed, so I’d been using my desktop machine exclusively, and that’s why I dragged my elliptical machine into the living room, because it went to the spot where the laptop was in front of the sofa. :) But now that I know it was probably power surges and not heat, I ordered a power regulator and will be careful to unplug the power supply while powering up or shutting down. I’m back on the laptop, and that elliptical machine remains but it crowds the space.

My darn cats keep getting all up in my face and shedding their fur all over my laptop and everything else, including my itchy nose.

If there is any earlier-news symptom I am indeed suffering from this week it’s the intensity of my tiredness. Yesterday I was wrapping up a blog article on my tech blog and I literally fell asleep while trying to complete the last sentence. I fear I’m about to go through that again right now, so I’ll have to cut this blog post short and go to bed. It’s late, anyway.

But I just wanted to make mention of what’s going on here. It’s a relief to not be entirely stuck in self-pity. Life will go on, and I’m not suddenly stupid, I’m still smart (as far as I can tell) and am still as able as ever to do my job. Now I just need to stay rested and keep hoping for a turnaround in the medical industry to come up with either a cure or a 100% (or near to that) effective treatment that I can buy into.

Speaking of treatments, I’m going to need to fetch my first injection medications soon. I still haven’t been trained in on how to use them and doing it every day will bring back some depression, no doubt, but I just want to hold onto this “symptom free” state of being for as long as possible.

Oh yeah, the bedtime reality. I must wake myself up long enough to wrap this up now.